A Not-So-Innocent Game of Truth or Dare
by Melissa2
Summary: The kinda sequel to An Innocent Game of Cards. The crew plays a game of truth or dare.


Title: A Not-So-Innocent Game of Truth or Dare  
Author: Melissa  
Rating: PG-13  
Archive: E-mail me first (themushroomkingdom@yahoo.com)  
Author's Note: This is kinda the second in a series of Andromeda humorous game fics, the first of which was An Innocent Game of Cards. This one's as insane as the first was, if not more. If I can think of more games that would work like this, or you suggest some, there will be more fics like this in the future.  
Disclaimer: Andromeda doesn't belong to me. But I wish portions of it (mainly Harper) did ;-)  
  
  
"Remind me again why I agreed to subject myself to this," Tyr said, evidently in a sour mood.  
  
"Because I won the bet, and you said you'd play if I did," Harper responded smugly.  
  
The crew was seated in a circle on the floor of Hydroponics. It was early evening, and Dylan had given everyone an opportunity to have some free time. This is where they had all ended up in one way or another.  
  
"I am still uncertain of exactly how you managed to do twenty-five pull ups when I can barely do thirty," Tyr said, narrowing his eyes at the young engineer.  
  
"You're implying that I of all people cheated?" Harper had an innocent look on his face. It changed back to the grin he had been wearing. "As I've heard you say many times, it's only cheating if you get caught."  
  
"I knew it!" Tyr exclaimed, preparing to push himself to his feet.  
  
"Ah, ah, ah, Tyr. I didn't say that I did cheat. Stick around and maybe you'll find out," Harper said.  
  
"When are we going to start playing? And how do we play again? Is it anything like the poker game we played?" Trance asked from Harper's left side.  
  
"Right now. And it's a piece of cake. It's nothing like poker, by the way. No winners, losers or human statues, if I can help it. Anyways, you'll be asked whether you want to choose truth or dare. Then, you pick one and have to either answer the question or do something," Harper said.  
  
"I can do that," Trance said with a smile.  
  
"Who's going first?" Dylan asked, a little bit impatiently. He had ended up in the circle only because Hydroponics had been overtaken by the group, and he couldn't play basketball with them in the middle of his court.  
  
"I want to!" Trance said enthusiastically. She was one of the co-beginners of the game. Harper had explained to her what the game was when she asked, and she immediately wanted to try it.  
  
"Go ahead, Trance. Pick your victim," Harper said, glancing around the circle.  
  
"Ummm....Rev. Truth or dare?" Trance asked.  
  
"I will choose truth," Rev said. He had kindly turned down Trance at first, but the disappointment in her big brown puppy dog eyes prevented him from sticking to his original answer.  
  
"Hmmmm...Rev...why don't you wear pants?" Trance eventually asked.  
  
Everyone stifled their laughter at her question.   
  
Rev paused for a moment before answering. "They are not necessary for a Magog and only hinder movement."  
  
"It's not like he has anything to hide," Harper whispered to Beka on his right.  
  
She chuckled before whispering back, "Be nice, Harper."  
  
Rev looked around the circle twice before his eyes landed on Beka. "Beka, truth or dare?"   
  
"I'll take dare," Beka replied instantly.  
  
Rev whispered to Rommie, who was sitting on his right. She nodded.  
  
"So, you aren't going to tell me what my dare is?" Beka asked.  
  
"Not yet. Be patient," Rev replied.  
  
Soon after, a droid arrived with two items under his arm. Rommie stood and took them from him. She set up a foldable changing area and held out a frilly pink dress.  
  
"For the remainder of the game, I dare you to wear that dress," Rev said.  
  
"A dress? You know how much I hate dressing up." She grabbed the dress from Rommie and angrily stalked off behind the changing area.   
  
Harper craned his neck, obviously trying to see behind the changing area.  
  
"No peeking, Harper," Beka warned. She emerged from behind the changing area in the pink dress, looking very uncomfortable and not in the best mood in the world.  
  
Harper laughed as she sat back down beside him.  
  
"Harper it's your turn. Truth or dare?" Beka asked.  
  
"Seeing as you're pissed off right now and would probably send me jumping out an airlock, I'll take truth," Harper said.  
  
An evil grin quickly spread across her face.  
  
"I don't like the looks of this," Harper mumbled to himself.  
  
"So, Harper, we all know you don't get any action. But when was the last time you did?" She knew she was touching on a subject he would object to.  
  
Harper suddenly grew very uncomfortable. "Well...why don't you ask me something else? I mean it would be much more interesting for me to go into detail about the Infinity Atoll incident that got me thrown into jail, wouldn't it? Or I could tell you about what happened af-"  
  
"No, maybe later. Right now I wanna when the last time you got laid was," Beka insisted.  
  
"How about a dare? I'll dance and sing. Or do one of Tyr's workouts. Or even wear a dress like you. Anyth-" Harper desperately pleaded.  
  
"Nope. You know the question." Beka was adamant.  
  
Harper turned towards Trance to look away from Beka's stare. Trance looked confused. "What is getting laid?"  
  
"Well, Trance...ummmmm....I don't really feel like telling you about the birds and bees right now, but..." Harper leaned over and whispered into her ear.  
  
Trance blushed a deep violet. "Oh."  
  
"Harper, we don't have all day," Beka said, breaking the moment of silence.  
  
"Well, I don't know exactly," Harper said.  
  
"Approximate then," Beka said.  
  
"Let's see...long enough," Harper finally responded.  
  
"Six months?" Beka guessed.  
  
"Yeah, that's it," Harper said normally before mumbling, "Times six."  
  
Beka heard him, though. "Three years?!? You must be kidding us! A guy can't go three years without sex!"  
  
"Not willingly," Harper said to himself, feeling his skin turning red. "Well, let's move on now! And I choose Tyr."  
  
Everyone was still talking amongst themselves about Harper, expressing their shock and pity towards his situation in-between rude remarks and snide comments.   
  
"I said that I choose Tyr!" Harper reiterated, annoyed. "Truth or dare?"  
  
"Dare," a very bored Tyr responded.  
  
"Let's see...what can I make big bad Tyr do?" Harper asked himself. "Well, seeing as humiliated and pissed are our two main reactions here...Tyr, you've gotta do the little teapot dance. Y'know the one that goes 'I'm a little teapot short and stout,' yada yada yada."  
  
Tyr gave Harper a look that would have made Helen of Troy seem like a beauty queen. "I will not continue this...this childish game!" He stood.  
  
"Come on, Tyr. I'm sitting here in a pink dress," Beka said with disgust. "And I don't think I've ever seen Harper this embarrassed. Do the teapot thing."  
  
"Fine," Tyr scoffed. "But only because I must keep my word."  
  
He stepped away from everyone in the circle. "I'm a little teapot short and stout. Here is my handle," he moved one of his arms into the position a teapot's handle would be in. "And here is my spout." He moved the other hand into the spout's position. "When I get all steamed up, hear me shout, 'Tip me over.'" He leaned over in the direction of the spout. "'And pour me out.'" Tyr seated himself again.  
  
Everyone stared completely silent at Tyr. They were all unsure of whether to laugh or check themselves into mental wards for thinking they saw Tyr do that.  
  
"My commitment ends when I choose someone. I choose Harper."  
  
"Hey, I just got picked!" Harper argued.  
  
"You stated no rule against selecting the same individual twice. Truth or dare?"  
  
"Uhhhhh...I'll take truth?" Harper was unsure.  
  
"How did you manage to do twenty-five pull ups?" Tyr asked.  
  
"I just did them?" Harper responded.  
  
"I know you, Little Man, are not capable of that feat. You will tell me," Tyr growled and lunged towards Harper.  
  
Harper jumped up and started running away. Everyone found it quite amusing to watch Tyr chasing Harper. Eventually, Tyr pinned Harper to a wall and grabbed his hair, jerking his head up.   
  
"Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!" Harper said.  
  
"Tell me how now, boy!" Tyr yelled.  
  
"Experimental anti-grav nanobots. Makes my body seem to weigh less than it does and makes it easier for me to do stuff," Harper said, his voice higher than it usually was with an edge of total fear.  
  
Tyr dropped Harper onto the floor, glaring into his eyes before stomping his way out of Hydroponics.  
  
"So, I guess it's my turn again," Harper said as he returned to the circle. "Trance, truth or dare?"  
  
"Ummmmm...dare." She seemed unsure of herself.  
  
"Show me what you can do with that tail," Harper said, quirking an eyebrow at her.  
  
"Okay. You have to stand up first, though." Trance stood up.  
  
Harper obliged. "I'm ready when you are, babe."  
  
The tip of Trance's tail traced from Harper's forehead down to his stomach. His surprise was evident. At the last second, her tail wrapped around his stomach and lifted him about three feet into the air.  
  
Harper screamed. "You can put me down now, Trance!"  
  
"But I'm not done yet, Harper. I was just getting started," she said.  
  
"No, I think you're done. I've seen enough," he said.  
  
She gently lowered him to the ground. "It's my turn again." She looked around the circle. "Rommie, truth or dare?"  
  
"Truth," Rommie replied.  
  
"Were you the one that killed Penelope?" Trance asked.  
  
"Who is Penelope?" Rommie asked.  
  
"My Alterian thistle bush," Trance said sadly.  
  
"I'm sorry, Trance. It was overtaking Hydroponics and caused Dylan's allergies to return," Rommie defended herself.  
  
"You did?" Trance was obviously upset.  
  
"Yes, I did." Rommie looked as if she was feeling slightly guilty.  
  
Trance's response was silence.  
  
"Harper, truth or dare?" Rommie asked.  
  
"I'm sure popular tonight," Harper mumbled. "Truth."  
  
"You never answered a question I asked you months ago. Did you wear gloves when you handled certain parts of me?" Rommie asked.  
  
"Well, have you ever seen me wearing gloves when I've worked before?" Harper asked.  
  
"No," Andromeda replied.  
  
"There's your answer." Harper wondered if this game had been as good of an idea as it had seemed at first. "Dylan, you haven't been chosen yet. Truth or dare?"  
  
"Dare," Dylan replied.  
  
"I'm terrible at coming up with dares..." A smile crossed Harper's face. "Maybe this will be worth the humiliation. I dare you to let me go to the surfing competition on Rigel in two weeks."  
  
"That isn't fair," Dylan protested.  
  
"It's my dare," Harper said.  
  
"I'll let you go if you can get a ship to go in," Dylan said.  
  
"And the Maru is off limits," Beka said.  
  
"Damn!" Harper said. "This game isn't any fun."  
  
"I want to play basketball," Dylan admitted.  
  
"And I was meditating," Rev said.  
  
"The flowers in my quarters need to be watered," Trance said.  
  
"I'm hungry," Harper said.  
  
"Me too," Beka said as everyone began to leave. "Let's go down to Mess Deck."  
  
"Sounds good to me," Harper said as they walked out into the corridor together.  
  
"Has it really been three years since you got laid?" Beka asked.  
  
"I thought that we dropped that," Harper said. He raised an eyebrow at her. "Unless you're offering."  
  
"You really are pathetic, Harper." Beka laughed.  
  
'We've gotta play games more often,' Harper thought.  
  



End file.
